So we are about 9 weeks from leaving Tunisia and feeling all sorts of "butterfliey belly" things - excitement, anxiety, anticipation, overwhelmedness (I know there is no such word!). But it has been really amazing to see how God has been meeting some of our emotional and practical needs...
When we leave Tunisia, we leave everything that has been our security for the past 8 years. We have had a wage, a house, furniture, the kids education paid for, flights and medical costs paid for, and all sorts of other things that won't hit us until we actually go!
When we land in England this time everything get's left behind. We will have with us all our worldy belonging's - namely a couple of suitcases each with clothes, some pictures, some of the kids favourite toys, and heads stuffed full of memories and emotion!
So why on earth are we doing this crazy thing? Surely this next position must promise all of those securities and essentials? I want to say "yes, of course it does! Who could possibly just drop everything and go to nothing?"... Errmmmm, us it seems!
We have felt for the past couple of years that God has been putting the UK back on our hearts. This is a bit of a surprise actually as we didn't foresee it happening! We left for our home assignment this June not knowing that we would be coming back toTunisia to hand in our notice!
We had started looking into becoming "proper" ordained ministers and had a meeting with a certain denominational group. We got and got the paper work, and started the long and ardous job of form filling. As we were filling in the forms we found ourselves struggling - not with the questions that were on it, but more with the questions that weren't...
There was plently of "Can you preach?", " what are your strengths and weaknesses?" sort of thing. But nothingabout; "Do you love people?", "How have you engaged with your community?" or "what is holistic ministry?". So whilst we gamely soldiered on - I think we were both feeling a "square peg / round hole" scenario building...
We have spent literally years working with the poor / marginalised / sexually broken / victims of trafficking / people who don't feel that they fit or are accepted by "main stream" society / sex workers / and scallys. These are the people that God has put on our hearts and the very people who teach us most about the character and nature of God!
So whilst we were in the UK a good friend mentioned to us that it would be worthwhile speaking to a couple that we know of, who run a slightly "different"... sort of Church. We did this and were booked to meet them the day after we returned from Canada ( a week before we were due to fly back to Tunisia).
I knew of them because 21 years previously (when I myself was in a broken "scally" state) I had been taken to the lady of the couple -Susie, for counselling and spiritual first aid!
So cloaked in jetlag we went to visit this couple, and to cut a long story short - it turns out they were looking for a couple "just like us" (that's nice innit?). And after meeting with their leadership team and visiting the drop in centre and basically falling in love with the whole place and all the people, we were invited to be part of the leadership of the church! (all this a week before we were due to return to Tunisia you understand!). It was a funny moment when Susie and I had a hug at the end and she laughed and said "who would have thought!?"
Now, the practical details - at the time, this church had no money or house (manse), they don't even have a building to meet in but instead meet together in the local community centre! It is one month today that we were "officially" invited to join them and in that month they have been given a large lump sum as our first years wages, (Wow), and the amazing thing for me is that my mum (who if anyone was going to be very cautious and "be very careful - you can't just give everything up and go to nothing - what about the children???") sort of thing was totally positive! AND she actually said "You have to do this! And tomorrow someone will be giving you a car!" And do you know what? The next day... Voila - we were given a car.
And just last week, I had a wobble (you know the type of thing) "Are we really doing the right thing? Where will we live? Ok God if it is really, really, really right then please give us an encouragement to do with housing." And the next morning (the next flippin morning!!!) there was an email waiting for us saying that someone had just given a whopping sum of money to buy a house for us to live in... That was quite encouraging I suppose!
So, we feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the right step for us. Don't get me wrong, most of our days are not like this! But we can see over the years that when God has wanted us to do something specific he usually makes it very clear. We think it's probably because we are actually quite thick and would miss things if they weren't made extremely obvious!
Are we scared? Yes
Do we feel equipped and ready to do this? No, but what's new?
Can we see a pattern of God always getting us to do things that stretch us and humble us? YES
Are we confident that God is able to do immesurably more than we can ask or imagine? Oh yes.
So, that is a condensed version of what happened! I want to tell you aout Tunisia though and some of the experiences we have had here. Some brilliant, some whacky supernatural, some horrifically terrible, some just stupid really! But that's for next time...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Miracles - or just a bizarre set of random coincidences???
So what of miracles? Do you believe in them? Does God really do this amazing stuff or is it just wishful thinking?
Well, If I look back over the past 15 years I can only think that God really, really, really does speak, move, and get involved in our lives (in ways which only He can.)
I remember being 15 years old and sitting in a doctors surgery. I had been sleeping rough on the streets - a 'heavy' goth, drug using, depressed teenager who dressed all in black and not looking friendly, had no one wanting to come and sit next to her! A lady kept looking at me from across the surgery and eventually came and sat next to me, and asked; "Is your name Emma? I think I know your parents!"
Is that a miracle? Not really - until it becomes clear that she has never actually seen me before in her life, and the moments leading up to her coming and sitting with me had involved a very heated exchange with God! ("You want me to go and sit next to THAT?! No way, uh uh!").
However as a long-term follower of Jesus she eventually did what she was told. She offered me a fag and just started chatting normally. I wonder if she would have done that if God had told her what would come next? Well, approximately 2 weeks (or 2 months? It was a LONG time ago!) after that meeting it was arranged that I would move in with the lady and her family... My parents are the most lovely, amazing people but realised that I was beyond control and needed help. The lady and her family lived out on a farm in deepest darkest Sussex... Ahhhhh!
It was a "bit of a change" from my previous life, but these amazing people just lived their normal lives in front of me (a mum, a dad, 4 kids, 2 extra foster kids and me - oh and about 300 cats). They never preached or pressurised, just smoked a lot, and made endless cups of tea - I remember the plug hole always choc - a - block with tea bags!
Anyway, I had been there some time and one afternoon the lady asked me if would like to go to a Christian concert at Ashburnham Place, because a well - known blind lady was singing. I was not totally thrilled with this idea but as they had been so kind to me, I didn't want to offend so went along. Just before we left one of the daughters handed me a big, red "Winnie the pooh" jumper and said she wanted me to have it. I handed it back saying, "No thanks, I only wear black".
So we and I went to the concert and as the singing started... I quickly realised I was right and it was pretty awful. However about 15 minutes (or was it hours?!) later the blind lady suddenly stopped playing the piano and singing, and went very quiet. I will never forget her next words "There is a girl here who is always dressed in black. God wants her to know that he loves her and he's forgiven her and she is to wear the red jumper". She then just carried on playing and singing. Where as I was completely, totally, utterly gobsmaked (and terrified to be honest).
Apparently this lady does that - she has the gift of prophecy, and what she lacks in physical sight she certainly makes up for in spiritual sight. I couldn't doubt that God was real, and right there in that room - because I had heard and seen first hand that He knew me and knew really tiny details and He wanted me to be SURE that I knew!
So what of miracles? Do you believe in them? Does God really do this amazing stuff or is it just wishful thinking? I know where I stand!
Well, If I look back over the past 15 years I can only think that God really, really, really does speak, move, and get involved in our lives (in ways which only He can.)
I remember being 15 years old and sitting in a doctors surgery. I had been sleeping rough on the streets - a 'heavy' goth, drug using, depressed teenager who dressed all in black and not looking friendly, had no one wanting to come and sit next to her! A lady kept looking at me from across the surgery and eventually came and sat next to me, and asked; "Is your name Emma? I think I know your parents!"
Is that a miracle? Not really - until it becomes clear that she has never actually seen me before in her life, and the moments leading up to her coming and sitting with me had involved a very heated exchange with God! ("You want me to go and sit next to THAT?! No way, uh uh!").
However as a long-term follower of Jesus she eventually did what she was told. She offered me a fag and just started chatting normally. I wonder if she would have done that if God had told her what would come next? Well, approximately 2 weeks (or 2 months? It was a LONG time ago!) after that meeting it was arranged that I would move in with the lady and her family... My parents are the most lovely, amazing people but realised that I was beyond control and needed help. The lady and her family lived out on a farm in deepest darkest Sussex... Ahhhhh!
It was a "bit of a change" from my previous life, but these amazing people just lived their normal lives in front of me (a mum, a dad, 4 kids, 2 extra foster kids and me - oh and about 300 cats). They never preached or pressurised, just smoked a lot, and made endless cups of tea - I remember the plug hole always choc - a - block with tea bags!
Anyway, I had been there some time and one afternoon the lady asked me if would like to go to a Christian concert at Ashburnham Place, because a well - known blind lady was singing. I was not totally thrilled with this idea but as they had been so kind to me, I didn't want to offend so went along. Just before we left one of the daughters handed me a big, red "Winnie the pooh" jumper and said she wanted me to have it. I handed it back saying, "No thanks, I only wear black".
So we and I went to the concert and as the singing started... I quickly realised I was right and it was pretty awful. However about 15 minutes (or was it hours?!) later the blind lady suddenly stopped playing the piano and singing, and went very quiet. I will never forget her next words "There is a girl here who is always dressed in black. God wants her to know that he loves her and he's forgiven her and she is to wear the red jumper". She then just carried on playing and singing. Where as I was completely, totally, utterly gobsmaked (and terrified to be honest).
Apparently this lady does that - she has the gift of prophecy, and what she lacks in physical sight she certainly makes up for in spiritual sight. I couldn't doubt that God was real, and right there in that room - because I had heard and seen first hand that He knew me and knew really tiny details and He wanted me to be SURE that I knew!
So what of miracles? Do you believe in them? Does God really do this amazing stuff or is it just wishful thinking? I know where I stand!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Today, Glyn and I joined with the leadership of "OTCC" - Old Town Community Church for a day of prayer and fasting. They did their bit in Eastbourne, East Sussex, we did our bit in Tunisia, North Africa.
We decided to go for a prayer walk round "Enahli Park" (a really beautiful national park with rolling hills, rocky crags and the odd camel, horse and tortoise walking around). We started off by following the winding path through the pine forest, then continued up and up and up.
It was about 30+ degrees and we were soon sweltering. We saw the usual tortoise and amazing birds and butterflies - and then realised we were actually lost. It would have been alright if we had turned around and retraced our steps... But being us, we decided to just try and go straight down to rejoin the main path (about 1/2 mile beneath us). Easy right?
Before long we found ourselves sliding down steep, shingled areas, clinging on to tiny dried tufts of grass that cut your hands or pine twigs that disintegrated! Then moments later we would develop a a sort of out - of - control, lolloping run with arms flailing like wind mills ending abruptly by crashing into small trees and startled wildlife.... Then slithering on our backsides getting thistles in tender places, and all this whilst trying to keep an eye out for snakes, scorpions and the vast assortment of wiggling and hissing creepy crawlies.
Eventually we crashed ungracefully onto the path with extremely dusty backsides and very disheveled hair. Glyn looked like a sort of cave man with a camera. We righted ourselves and tried to all intense and purposes to make it look like we had in fact meant to land like that. Much to the astonished gawps of our fellow hill walkers who were sensibly on the right path.
After catching our breath and allowing the adrenalin to settle we decided there was a metaphore (or at the very least a sermon illustration!) in this experience. It could be:
A. Don't take the wrong path - always keep to the obvious path.
B. You will face many obstacles and places where you want to turn back - but keep going.
C. Don't be afraid to come off the well used path and step out (or in our case down ) in faith.
D. Make sure your mobile phone has credit so you can make that emergency call!
E. Always carry a map.
F. ...Or at least a bottle of water (this is after all Africa and what sort of idiot goes out hill walking in 30+ degrees without some form of liquid...)
Regardless of what we learned, the fact was it took a lot of communication and trust (for me to have confidence that Glyn was well able to help me down and wouldn't accidentally let me go rollypollying into oblivion) and for Glyn to trust me (that I wouldn't accidentally swing our new and expensive camera into a boulder as happened last time ...Ahem!).
So the grand outcome of our day of prayer and fasting? I think God was laughing!
Why are we praying and fasting? well as mentioned in the last blog we are outta here in 9 weeks and preparing ourselves to take a new role as part of the leadership team of the church in Eastbourne. After 5 years here it will be a BIG change and we feel a real need to throw ourselves on to God and get strength and guidance from Him.
And as it happens we will need to make sure we are listening to Him and following His path, persevering when we want to give up and can't see the way forward, stepping out in faith and not fear the challenges and new territory, not be afraid to call for help when we need it, always using our map (bible) for direction, and constantly drinking deep of the living water.
I actually think He was walking with us today.
We decided to go for a prayer walk round "Enahli Park" (a really beautiful national park with rolling hills, rocky crags and the odd camel, horse and tortoise walking around). We started off by following the winding path through the pine forest, then continued up and up and up.
It was about 30+ degrees and we were soon sweltering. We saw the usual tortoise and amazing birds and butterflies - and then realised we were actually lost. It would have been alright if we had turned around and retraced our steps... But being us, we decided to just try and go straight down to rejoin the main path (about 1/2 mile beneath us). Easy right?
Before long we found ourselves sliding down steep, shingled areas, clinging on to tiny dried tufts of grass that cut your hands or pine twigs that disintegrated! Then moments later we would develop a a sort of out - of - control, lolloping run with arms flailing like wind mills ending abruptly by crashing into small trees and startled wildlife.... Then slithering on our backsides getting thistles in tender places, and all this whilst trying to keep an eye out for snakes, scorpions and the vast assortment of wiggling and hissing creepy crawlies.
Eventually we crashed ungracefully onto the path with extremely dusty backsides and very disheveled hair. Glyn looked like a sort of cave man with a camera. We righted ourselves and tried to all intense and purposes to make it look like we had in fact meant to land like that. Much to the astonished gawps of our fellow hill walkers who were sensibly on the right path.
After catching our breath and allowing the adrenalin to settle we decided there was a metaphore (or at the very least a sermon illustration!) in this experience. It could be:
A. Don't take the wrong path - always keep to the obvious path.
B. You will face many obstacles and places where you want to turn back - but keep going.
C. Don't be afraid to come off the well used path and step out (or in our case down ) in faith.
D. Make sure your mobile phone has credit so you can make that emergency call!
E. Always carry a map.
F. ...Or at least a bottle of water (this is after all Africa and what sort of idiot goes out hill walking in 30+ degrees without some form of liquid...)
Regardless of what we learned, the fact was it took a lot of communication and trust (for me to have confidence that Glyn was well able to help me down and wouldn't accidentally let me go rollypollying into oblivion) and for Glyn to trust me (that I wouldn't accidentally swing our new and expensive camera into a boulder as happened last time ...Ahem!).
So the grand outcome of our day of prayer and fasting? I think God was laughing!
Why are we praying and fasting? well as mentioned in the last blog we are outta here in 9 weeks and preparing ourselves to take a new role as part of the leadership team of the church in Eastbourne. After 5 years here it will be a BIG change and we feel a real need to throw ourselves on to God and get strength and guidance from Him.
And as it happens we will need to make sure we are listening to Him and following His path, persevering when we want to give up and can't see the way forward, stepping out in faith and not fear the challenges and new territory, not be afraid to call for help when we need it, always using our map (bible) for direction, and constantly drinking deep of the living water.
I actually think He was walking with us today.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The way the journey unfolds...
So this is how you blog - I wondered what people were blogging on about!
Why am I doing this? Well for 2 reasons - firstly because as a family we have been on an incredible journey and we never would have been able to guess or believe how God has worked.
Secondly, because people have asked us to share a bit about what is going on and how it happened.
The question is where to start? Every story has a beginning, middle and end. The difficult bit is to try and work out where we are now? We are coming to the end of our time in Tunisia, we are about to begin a new life in the UK (in a very exciting / scary situation) and yet we feel like we are in the middle of God's story!
When you are about to take another transition in life, you tend to look back and reflect on what has already been. I have been amazed, humbled and awed at how I have seen God at work! If anyone doubts that there is a God who knows us, cares for us, and truly is involved in our lives then I challenge and encourage them to rethink their heart position. I simply cannot possibly doubt God's presence, leading, protection, humour, and intimate love and knowledge for me and my whole family. It is like the old saying "looking at individual threads and knots on a tapestry makes a chaotic picture - stand back and look at the bigger picture and you can see the story".
So this blog space will be used to share the journey.
At this moment in time - early in October, we are preparing to leave Tunisia. All of our furniture has been sold (though I have told people they can't have it yet as we still have 9 weeks to go - some people are vultures!). The kids are noticing their bedrooms looking a bit more empty, and as a family we have that "things are changing" feel.
We have lived in Tunisia for 5 years and been on the kind of journey that makes you look back and think "did that really happen? Did we really live through that?!" If I was to try and summarise the experience here it would be "learning to trust God in every way imaginable".
So going backwards - We arrived in Tunisia after spending a 1 -1/2 years in France learning French (in order to learn Arabic - as you do!) And that's when gorgeous Carys was born, 2004 (Carys from Paris - ooh la la).
We arrived in France after spending 1 year living in Birmingham at a training centre for overseas workers.
Before that we were in Battle, East Sussex for nearly 2 years sharing a house with one of our bestest friends, Jeanette. Sam was born during this time (it was 2000 - he is about to turn 9!). Before this we were in the Philippines for nearly 3 years working for Tearfund, seconded to a group called "Samaritana transformation ministries" working with men and women in prostitution.
Before that we were 2 years at "All Nations Christian College" (a training college to prepare you to work overseas), before that 1996 - 98.
Before that we were a couple of years in East Sussex involved in Battle Baptist Church, Glyn and I worked for Parchment Trust.
We spent a few months in Nigeria with a good friend who gave us what he called "THE BAPTISM OF FIRE" (sounds great if said in a big Nigerian accent! This is also another story... Malaria - yuck - dysentry - yuckier)
Before that we got married - 2 very young people (1993 - Glyn 21, me 20!) we had no idea what the future would hold! There is obviously more before this, but I will save that for another time!!!
Suffice to say we were the 2 most unlikely people to be "chosen" by God to walk this extraordinary path...
So this brings us back to Tunisia... We have loved this place and yet found it the most painful, formative time of our lives to date. It is easy to speak the words "we trust God" but until you are faced with situations that require utter and complete trust they are just words. There have been many laughs, many tears, manys joys and many fears. For anyone who may doubt there is a spiritual realm and that the supernatural exists I would have to simply reply "oh yes it does!". For anyone who doubts that God knows all and is involved in all, I would again simply have to say "oh yes He is!".
So how do we know it's right to leave Tunisia? Because God has told us and spoken very clearly. But this is for next time...
Why am I doing this? Well for 2 reasons - firstly because as a family we have been on an incredible journey and we never would have been able to guess or believe how God has worked.
Secondly, because people have asked us to share a bit about what is going on and how it happened.
The question is where to start? Every story has a beginning, middle and end. The difficult bit is to try and work out where we are now? We are coming to the end of our time in Tunisia, we are about to begin a new life in the UK (in a very exciting / scary situation) and yet we feel like we are in the middle of God's story!
When you are about to take another transition in life, you tend to look back and reflect on what has already been. I have been amazed, humbled and awed at how I have seen God at work! If anyone doubts that there is a God who knows us, cares for us, and truly is involved in our lives then I challenge and encourage them to rethink their heart position. I simply cannot possibly doubt God's presence, leading, protection, humour, and intimate love and knowledge for me and my whole family. It is like the old saying "looking at individual threads and knots on a tapestry makes a chaotic picture - stand back and look at the bigger picture and you can see the story".
So this blog space will be used to share the journey.
At this moment in time - early in October, we are preparing to leave Tunisia. All of our furniture has been sold (though I have told people they can't have it yet as we still have 9 weeks to go - some people are vultures!). The kids are noticing their bedrooms looking a bit more empty, and as a family we have that "things are changing" feel.
We have lived in Tunisia for 5 years and been on the kind of journey that makes you look back and think "did that really happen? Did we really live through that?!" If I was to try and summarise the experience here it would be "learning to trust God in every way imaginable".
So going backwards - We arrived in Tunisia after spending a 1 -1/2 years in France learning French (in order to learn Arabic - as you do!) And that's when gorgeous Carys was born, 2004 (Carys from Paris - ooh la la).
We arrived in France after spending 1 year living in Birmingham at a training centre for overseas workers.
Before that we were in Battle, East Sussex for nearly 2 years sharing a house with one of our bestest friends, Jeanette. Sam was born during this time (it was 2000 - he is about to turn 9!). Before this we were in the Philippines for nearly 3 years working for Tearfund, seconded to a group called "Samaritana transformation ministries" working with men and women in prostitution.
Before that we were 2 years at "All Nations Christian College" (a training college to prepare you to work overseas), before that 1996 - 98.
Before that we were a couple of years in East Sussex involved in Battle Baptist Church, Glyn and I worked for Parchment Trust.
We spent a few months in Nigeria with a good friend who gave us what he called "THE BAPTISM OF FIRE" (sounds great if said in a big Nigerian accent! This is also another story... Malaria - yuck - dysentry - yuckier)
Before that we got married - 2 very young people (1993 - Glyn 21, me 20!) we had no idea what the future would hold! There is obviously more before this, but I will save that for another time!!!
Suffice to say we were the 2 most unlikely people to be "chosen" by God to walk this extraordinary path...
So this brings us back to Tunisia... We have loved this place and yet found it the most painful, formative time of our lives to date. It is easy to speak the words "we trust God" but until you are faced with situations that require utter and complete trust they are just words. There have been many laughs, many tears, manys joys and many fears. For anyone who may doubt there is a spiritual realm and that the supernatural exists I would have to simply reply "oh yes it does!". For anyone who doubts that God knows all and is involved in all, I would again simply have to say "oh yes He is!".
So how do we know it's right to leave Tunisia? Because God has told us and spoken very clearly. But this is for next time...
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