Funny to think that 4 weeks ago we were in Tunisia and wondering what life would be like in the UK for us all. It now seems a bit of a blur (arriving on the 7th Dec and then a couple of days later being in hospital for 6 days with Sam which stunned us!
We had thought we would be in the new house by Christmas and imagined all sorts of loveliness of making the house a home etc, etc. Alas it wasn't to be! We have instead found our selves hosted by all many of lovely people and in lovely places!
So we have moved about here and there packing and unpacking, wrapping Christmas presents, unwrapping Christmas presents, adding them in to the general packing and unpacking malarky and become dab hands at shoving life (and occasionaly by accident one of the kids) into boxes and moving on. Our emotions have been up and down as we deal with the "loss and change" of culture shock meaning feelings ebb and flow - elation, stress, uppers then downers... All this is normal.
The "worst case scenario" was for us to still be moving around and living out of suitcases when the kids started school. Well worst case scenario happened (is happening!) and although to be honest we are very disappointed about the house, we are all fine.
It was very important to me that we be in our 'own' home before Sam and Carys started their new schools. They have been through an incredible amount of transition and change. So to try and make the transition as smooth as possible we wanted to send them off from a secure "home base" with their own rooms, familiar things, with all of us "settled" before embarking on this new venture.
However, once again we are recognising that we think we know exactly what we can and can't cope with. We try to control our situations according to what we think is the best for us whereas God is saying You need me, you need others, you need to find your home in me and allow others to be home for you. This is community- trust me! But the reality is it is tiring, moving and packing and not being able to truly "flop out" in your own home does take it's toll. It is difficult wehn Sam cries frustrated tears saying "I just want to be at home." All we can do is reassure and listen and say "we know it's tough but lets hang in there and try to help each other through".
We are staying with a lovely lady who has graciously opened her home to the 4 of us and allowed us to quite literally invade her space. It is difficult to "feel at home" in other people's homes - especially with young kids - but we are finding His grace is suffucient and He knows what we need.
I see our 2 kids as kids who make their home wherever 'home' happens to be at that time. If I added up all the beds Sam has slept in (not to mention countries / situations) it would be shocking! Yet they cope and adapt and appear relatively unfazed by the whole thing.
We think they need certain things in order to feel secure - however it is once again clear that the most important thing for them to have in place is Glyn and I. We are their home and they feel more secure if we are at peace - home for us is very much a 'heart state' rather than a physical place but it is a tough call!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sam's story
Dear Friends,
This is just an update to let you know what has happened in our first (nearly) week back in the UK.
We managed to get all our things into 2 pieces of baggage each + one extra box which meant we avoided shipping things and could start fresh back in the UK.
We landed on Monday pm and were picked up by our friend Andy who drove us (through teeming rain!) back to Ashburnham Place in East Sussex. As usual the first day back (Tuesday) felt weird as we began the "re-entry shock" of entering a different culture. I (Emma) contacted my parents in Canada just to say that we had landed and all was well. Interestingly my dad said that "I felt a huge supernatural relief when I heard you had landed and when I mentioned it to your mum she said she had felt the same!"
We braved ASDA with the usual "other world feeling" that you get the first time you see all the "stuff" again.
On Wednesday we got on with some practical jobs in the morning - applying for school places, registering at doctors surgery etc. Sam seemed ok - just a bit tired and grumpy if anything!
By 6pm Wednesday evening we knew that Sam was not right. He was emotional and so we gave him a dose of his puffer, and put him to bed early. At 8pm he came back down saying he couldn't sleep and he felt strange. We noticed he had a tremor in his right arm but put this down to the ventolin (as we have seen this before with him). We put him to bed in the downstairs room where Glyn and I were sleeping so we could keep an eye on him.
I checked on him a few minutes later and he was shaking more noticeably and burning hot. He was muttering " please, please, please, please no" over and over. It was very scary. Her then began having much stronger tremors on his right side and began throwing himself more violently. He was lucid throughout and scared asking "what's wrong with me?". By this time we had obviously called the ambulance and in the 10 or so minutes it took for them to arrive he became much worse (the convulsions were only about 10 seconds apart). The ambulance people were very worried and immediately put him in the ambulance and I travelled with him with Glyn following. He was convulsing violently and the ambulance man looked so concerned I felt like I was saying goodbye. I cannot explain the fear, helplessness and disbelief at what was happening. Glyn knew something had happened as he said the ambulance was travelling at normal speed then suddenly put the blue lights on and shot out of sight.
The paramedics had radioed ahead to have everyone waiting to receive us and Sam was immediately rushed into the emergency room where a team of doctors sprang into action. He was still convulsing violently and had to be strapped on to the bed - his temperature was over 40 degrees and rising. Glyn entered the room and I saw by his face he was expecting that Sam would have improved but he was then shocked at what he was seeing. Once again - the terror, panic and feeling of helplessness was powerful and we were of course praying like mad but feeling like we were unable to do anything except watch this unbelievable thing happening.
The doctors were aware of our very recent return from overseas and trying to figure out what was wrong, he was given a whole range of tests and they called 4 different tropical disease centre's. His symptoms didn't match up with any common foreign diseases! His main consultant asked us what we had been doing and it was quickly realized that we were all Christians and she had been an "action teamer" to Albania some time before and she and her husband both served overseas! God is good and it helped tremendously to have someone else praying in the room with us.
At midnight the convulsions began to ease a little and space out in timing. Sam became more talkative and Glyn and I felt a measure of relief. He was moved to the children's ward and put into isolation. He had no further spasms / convulsions but his temperature continued to rage at 40 degrees and wasn't responding in any dramatic way to fever reducers. The test results all came back negative so it remained a mystery. He slept fitfully the first night with hourly ob's from the nurses and doctors, and the next morning although still burning hot was chatty for about half an hour before flopping again. He developed a very bad headache and light phobia so meningitis was a possibility and they were thinking about giving him a lumber puncture. The pain eased so they decided to wait. he had all sorts of tubes / needles and tests.
He slept fitfully the second night and then by the next morning was beginning to vomit up some blood which was yet another scary thing! He was on a cocktail of antibiotics by then, and mid morning fell into a very deep sleep (I felt compelled to keep prodding him as I was worried but the nurses told me to leave him to sleep!). He woke up at 3pm a different boy - chatty, hungry, laughing and with a much lower temperature. The doctors were encouraged but said as the cause was unknown they were still feeling cautious. He slept well the third night.
He was so much improved by the 4th morning that the consultant said he could come 'home' but needs to be in isolation. This is day 5 and his first full day back here (staying with our friends "in isolation" at Ashburnham Place. He is doing ok - hates the medicines with a passion and has started getting annoyed with Carys so some things are returning to normal! He has been quite emotional (as have we all) and I think it is a huge combination of being in a new country for only 2 days before this major trauma!, recovering from a major viral thing or other, not being in our own home with familiar things, relief, adrenalin come-down, etc. So we are still reeling but obviously thankful to God that our precious boy is still with us. We are now just trying to get our hearts out of our throats and develop a more relaxed rhythm of breathing.
We will most likely never know why this happened. We may never know what it was / is (this isn't a good thought!). He is responding to Tami flu which is the viral medication and H1N1 medication so it could be a variety of things. I don't think we have ever had such an intense, desperate 4 days of total fear, total focus, and trying not to prepare for the worst. All I know is that it was one of those times that we have been called yet again to put our faith where our mouth is - God asks us "Do you trust me with everything? Even when the situation is desperate and it could go either way?" And we are required to answer yes or no. Earlier on the Wednesday (which feels like an eternity ago) I had been walking round the lake here at Ashburnham Place reflecting on what we are about to do and feeling overwhelmed and out of depth. Throughout 2009 God has spoken to me about "standing on the rock" and stepping out of the boat and walking on water. It isn't about a clever party trick - whether we will actually float or sink if we do it! It is about where is your trust when the storm rages around you - we will constantly face the horrific storms of life and feel we may sink under the power of the waves and howling wind, but if we put our faith and trust in Him we may sink a bit but then find we actually have our feet on the rock. This happened with Sam, we found ourselves in a bleak sea of despair, fear and helplessness. I suppose what I am trying to say is that God is faithful and He is the rock and we can allow ourselves to sink into Him. It is easy to start feeling angry at God, and shout "WHY? WHY? WHY?" when it is happening. I think it is far harder to say "I still trust you despite feeling utter fear" but we found that trying to push through the fear to saying "God we trust you" enabled us to put our feet down on a rock in the middle of what felt like a tsunami.
The last amazing thing for us in the midst of this experience was the chain of prayer, love and support that flew around the planet. We could feel it and the facebook inbox is choc a block with over 100 messages from many different individuals, groups, countries and churches who joined with us and carried the prayer burden and interceded for Sam's life. What can we say except a simple, deeply heart felt thank you. We felt it and it was so comforting and we know it made a difference.
So, this has been our nearly first week! We have been to visit the new house and are excited about this next chapter but we are starting in a place of complete reliance on God and looking to Him to help us remain afloat!
With much love and thanks,
Emma, Glyn, Sam & Carys
Monday, November 9, 2009
The valley of vision
"The valley of vision"
Lord.
High and Holy
meek and lowly.
You have brought me to the valley of vision.
Where I live in the depths
but see you in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin
I behold your glory.
Let me learn by paradox that
the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul.
That to possess nothing is to possess all
that to bear the crow is to wear the crown.
That to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord.
High and Holy
meek and lowly.
You have brought me to the valley of vision.
Where I live in the depths
but see you in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin
I behold your glory.
Let me learn by paradox that
the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul.
That to possess nothing is to possess all
that to bear the crow is to wear the crown.
That to give is to receive,
Monday, November 2, 2009
Re-entry
5 weeks today we fly back to England. How do we feel? Very excited, feeling of anticipation, "looking forward to" etc. But combined with these feelings are another layer of feelings...
When you prepare to go overseas (to "the field"). There are anticipated things like 'culture shock", facing a new language, new people, sights, sounds, smells, in fact all that comes from being a stranger in a foreign land! As an individual I have faced this 4 times. Actually physically moving and setting up home in a different country (Saudi Arabia, the Philippines, France and Tunisia). As a married couple and then with kids we have had 3 major country moves. There is no doubt that entering a new culture is a huge life change with many positive and challenging factors. It takes preparation in a holistic way!
However, "re-entry" (returning to your "home" culture) is seen as less of a step. After all, it is more familiar. You are known, you know the cultural dance steps, the unspoken cultural language and undercurrents, the history etc. But why is it then that we find the "re-entry" just as challenging (sometimes more so than "entry")?
There are a number of answers we have (so far) found to this question.
1/ New and "alien" experiences - Of course it is not only those who travel overseas that have changes and new experiences. But our changes and experiences are things that many of our "home based" friends or family cannot really relate to and identify with. For us, these things may be major events and important stories in our lives that we want to share. We are often asked "So how has it been out there?" And you have to try and give a short answer or you see that glazed look come over people's faces!
2/ Different friendships and social groups - we have been spending time with people who (in our particular experience) have been poverty stricken, despairing, exploited and in hiding. We leave them behind and return to a life that we find it difficult to fit back in to. When you have witnessed and shared the path of the desperate poverty in the developing world, it is hard to meaningfully discuss someone's broken washing machine or the recession in the UK. It is hard not to look at peoples lives as excessive and to relate to Western based Christians who for the most part appear to have it quite "cushy" but seem to moan a lot about their Christian experience...
Yet you cannot and must not judge! You must not let people think you are looking dissaprovingly at their lives! We have to learn to live to the beat of a different drum!
3/ Our kids - for us this is definitely the most major consideration. Changing cultures as a single person or married couple, is totally different to when you have children in tow. For us a huge factor of both moving overseas and re-entry is the impact on our kids and trying to help them deal with what is ahead. One major difference is that even though the UK (in this instance) is the "home culture" for Glyn and I - it isn't for our kids (Sam 9, and Carys 5). Sam was born in England but by 2 years old was living in France and has never lived in the UK since. For Carys, she was born in France and has never lived in the UK! So whilst Glyn and I have a store of memories from the UK and recognise our cultural identity - Sam and Carys relate far more to the Tunisian culture. This is the place that holds their memories and makes them feel comfortable. When Glyn and I go "home" Sam and Carys are facing a new country. For them it's new house, school, friends, cultural norms and practises. It is also how you help the children express their fears, concerns and all he loss and change process. They often don't have the words or articulation to put into words what they are feeling about leaving and entering a new situation. Whilst Glyn and I can communicate how we feel. We notice the kids are more unsettled at times, "tantrumy", and starting to want to withdraw from certain things. We just have to journey with them and do all we can to help them feel secure and positive about this next step. We do make a point of sitting down as a family on a regular basis and talking about how we are feeling - what we are excited about and nervous about. We are in the process of looking through all our photos (thousands!) from the past 5 years and making a photo book which reflects our most precious and significant moments.
4/ The goodbye's - Saying goodbye to people that have become important (and unless you are fortunate, unlikely to see again). And helping the children to say goodbye to their special friends and places. We are about to go on a country tour to do this - it is such a blessing to have the ability and freedom at this time.
So, these things along with a few others are some of the reasons why it is just as difficult to return as it is to leave!
When you prepare to go overseas (to "the field"). There are anticipated things like 'culture shock", facing a new language, new people, sights, sounds, smells, in fact all that comes from being a stranger in a foreign land! As an individual I have faced this 4 times. Actually physically moving and setting up home in a different country (Saudi Arabia, the Philippines, France and Tunisia). As a married couple and then with kids we have had 3 major country moves. There is no doubt that entering a new culture is a huge life change with many positive and challenging factors. It takes preparation in a holistic way!
However, "re-entry" (returning to your "home" culture) is seen as less of a step. After all, it is more familiar. You are known, you know the cultural dance steps, the unspoken cultural language and undercurrents, the history etc. But why is it then that we find the "re-entry" just as challenging (sometimes more so than "entry")?
There are a number of answers we have (so far) found to this question.
1/ New and "alien" experiences - Of course it is not only those who travel overseas that have changes and new experiences. But our changes and experiences are things that many of our "home based" friends or family cannot really relate to and identify with. For us, these things may be major events and important stories in our lives that we want to share. We are often asked "So how has it been out there?" And you have to try and give a short answer or you see that glazed look come over people's faces!
2/ Different friendships and social groups - we have been spending time with people who (in our particular experience) have been poverty stricken, despairing, exploited and in hiding. We leave them behind and return to a life that we find it difficult to fit back in to. When you have witnessed and shared the path of the desperate poverty in the developing world, it is hard to meaningfully discuss someone's broken washing machine or the recession in the UK. It is hard not to look at peoples lives as excessive and to relate to Western based Christians who for the most part appear to have it quite "cushy" but seem to moan a lot about their Christian experience...
Yet you cannot and must not judge! You must not let people think you are looking dissaprovingly at their lives! We have to learn to live to the beat of a different drum!
3/ Our kids - for us this is definitely the most major consideration. Changing cultures as a single person or married couple, is totally different to when you have children in tow. For us a huge factor of both moving overseas and re-entry is the impact on our kids and trying to help them deal with what is ahead. One major difference is that even though the UK (in this instance) is the "home culture" for Glyn and I - it isn't for our kids (Sam 9, and Carys 5). Sam was born in England but by 2 years old was living in France and has never lived in the UK since. For Carys, she was born in France and has never lived in the UK! So whilst Glyn and I have a store of memories from the UK and recognise our cultural identity - Sam and Carys relate far more to the Tunisian culture. This is the place that holds their memories and makes them feel comfortable. When Glyn and I go "home" Sam and Carys are facing a new country. For them it's new house, school, friends, cultural norms and practises. It is also how you help the children express their fears, concerns and all he loss and change process. They often don't have the words or articulation to put into words what they are feeling about leaving and entering a new situation. Whilst Glyn and I can communicate how we feel. We notice the kids are more unsettled at times, "tantrumy", and starting to want to withdraw from certain things. We just have to journey with them and do all we can to help them feel secure and positive about this next step. We do make a point of sitting down as a family on a regular basis and talking about how we are feeling - what we are excited about and nervous about. We are in the process of looking through all our photos (thousands!) from the past 5 years and making a photo book which reflects our most precious and significant moments.
4/ The goodbye's - Saying goodbye to people that have become important (and unless you are fortunate, unlikely to see again). And helping the children to say goodbye to their special friends and places. We are about to go on a country tour to do this - it is such a blessing to have the ability and freedom at this time.
So, these things along with a few others are some of the reasons why it is just as difficult to return as it is to leave!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
You're moving where?
So we are about 9 weeks from leaving Tunisia and feeling all sorts of "butterfliey belly" things - excitement, anxiety, anticipation, overwhelmedness (I know there is no such word!). But it has been really amazing to see how God has been meeting some of our emotional and practical needs...
When we leave Tunisia, we leave everything that has been our security for the past 8 years. We have had a wage, a house, furniture, the kids education paid for, flights and medical costs paid for, and all sorts of other things that won't hit us until we actually go!
When we land in England this time everything get's left behind. We will have with us all our worldy belonging's - namely a couple of suitcases each with clothes, some pictures, some of the kids favourite toys, and heads stuffed full of memories and emotion!
So why on earth are we doing this crazy thing? Surely this next position must promise all of those securities and essentials? I want to say "yes, of course it does! Who could possibly just drop everything and go to nothing?"... Errmmmm, us it seems!
We have felt for the past couple of years that God has been putting the UK back on our hearts. This is a bit of a surprise actually as we didn't foresee it happening! We left for our home assignment this June not knowing that we would be coming back toTunisia to hand in our notice!
We had started looking into becoming "proper" ordained ministers and had a meeting with a certain denominational group. We got and got the paper work, and started the long and ardous job of form filling. As we were filling in the forms we found ourselves struggling - not with the questions that were on it, but more with the questions that weren't...
There was plently of "Can you preach?", " what are your strengths and weaknesses?" sort of thing. But nothingabout; "Do you love people?", "How have you engaged with your community?" or "what is holistic ministry?". So whilst we gamely soldiered on - I think we were both feeling a "square peg / round hole" scenario building...
We have spent literally years working with the poor / marginalised / sexually broken / victims of trafficking / people who don't feel that they fit or are accepted by "main stream" society / sex workers / and scallys. These are the people that God has put on our hearts and the very people who teach us most about the character and nature of God!
So whilst we were in the UK a good friend mentioned to us that it would be worthwhile speaking to a couple that we know of, who run a slightly "different"... sort of Church. We did this and were booked to meet them the day after we returned from Canada ( a week before we were due to fly back to Tunisia).
I knew of them because 21 years previously (when I myself was in a broken "scally" state) I had been taken to the lady of the couple -Susie, for counselling and spiritual first aid!
So cloaked in jetlag we went to visit this couple, and to cut a long story short - it turns out they were looking for a couple "just like us" (that's nice innit?). And after meeting with their leadership team and visiting the drop in centre and basically falling in love with the whole place and all the people, we were invited to be part of the leadership of the church! (all this a week before we were due to return to Tunisia you understand!). It was a funny moment when Susie and I had a hug at the end and she laughed and said "who would have thought!?"
Now, the practical details - at the time, this church had no money or house (manse), they don't even have a building to meet in but instead meet together in the local community centre! It is one month today that we were "officially" invited to join them and in that month they have been given a large lump sum as our first years wages, (Wow), and the amazing thing for me is that my mum (who if anyone was going to be very cautious and "be very careful - you can't just give everything up and go to nothing - what about the children???") sort of thing was totally positive! AND she actually said "You have to do this! And tomorrow someone will be giving you a car!" And do you know what? The next day... Voila - we were given a car.
And just last week, I had a wobble (you know the type of thing) "Are we really doing the right thing? Where will we live? Ok God if it is really, really, really right then please give us an encouragement to do with housing." And the next morning (the next flippin morning!!!) there was an email waiting for us saying that someone had just given a whopping sum of money to buy a house for us to live in... That was quite encouraging I suppose!
So, we feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the right step for us. Don't get me wrong, most of our days are not like this! But we can see over the years that when God has wanted us to do something specific he usually makes it very clear. We think it's probably because we are actually quite thick and would miss things if they weren't made extremely obvious!
Are we scared? Yes
Do we feel equipped and ready to do this? No, but what's new?
Can we see a pattern of God always getting us to do things that stretch us and humble us? YES
Are we confident that God is able to do immesurably more than we can ask or imagine? Oh yes.
So, that is a condensed version of what happened! I want to tell you aout Tunisia though and some of the experiences we have had here. Some brilliant, some whacky supernatural, some horrifically terrible, some just stupid really! But that's for next time...
When we leave Tunisia, we leave everything that has been our security for the past 8 years. We have had a wage, a house, furniture, the kids education paid for, flights and medical costs paid for, and all sorts of other things that won't hit us until we actually go!
When we land in England this time everything get's left behind. We will have with us all our worldy belonging's - namely a couple of suitcases each with clothes, some pictures, some of the kids favourite toys, and heads stuffed full of memories and emotion!
So why on earth are we doing this crazy thing? Surely this next position must promise all of those securities and essentials? I want to say "yes, of course it does! Who could possibly just drop everything and go to nothing?"... Errmmmm, us it seems!
We have felt for the past couple of years that God has been putting the UK back on our hearts. This is a bit of a surprise actually as we didn't foresee it happening! We left for our home assignment this June not knowing that we would be coming back toTunisia to hand in our notice!
We had started looking into becoming "proper" ordained ministers and had a meeting with a certain denominational group. We got and got the paper work, and started the long and ardous job of form filling. As we were filling in the forms we found ourselves struggling - not with the questions that were on it, but more with the questions that weren't...
There was plently of "Can you preach?", " what are your strengths and weaknesses?" sort of thing. But nothingabout; "Do you love people?", "How have you engaged with your community?" or "what is holistic ministry?". So whilst we gamely soldiered on - I think we were both feeling a "square peg / round hole" scenario building...
We have spent literally years working with the poor / marginalised / sexually broken / victims of trafficking / people who don't feel that they fit or are accepted by "main stream" society / sex workers / and scallys. These are the people that God has put on our hearts and the very people who teach us most about the character and nature of God!
So whilst we were in the UK a good friend mentioned to us that it would be worthwhile speaking to a couple that we know of, who run a slightly "different"... sort of Church. We did this and were booked to meet them the day after we returned from Canada ( a week before we were due to fly back to Tunisia).
I knew of them because 21 years previously (when I myself was in a broken "scally" state) I had been taken to the lady of the couple -Susie, for counselling and spiritual first aid!
So cloaked in jetlag we went to visit this couple, and to cut a long story short - it turns out they were looking for a couple "just like us" (that's nice innit?). And after meeting with their leadership team and visiting the drop in centre and basically falling in love with the whole place and all the people, we were invited to be part of the leadership of the church! (all this a week before we were due to return to Tunisia you understand!). It was a funny moment when Susie and I had a hug at the end and she laughed and said "who would have thought!?"
Now, the practical details - at the time, this church had no money or house (manse), they don't even have a building to meet in but instead meet together in the local community centre! It is one month today that we were "officially" invited to join them and in that month they have been given a large lump sum as our first years wages, (Wow), and the amazing thing for me is that my mum (who if anyone was going to be very cautious and "be very careful - you can't just give everything up and go to nothing - what about the children???") sort of thing was totally positive! AND she actually said "You have to do this! And tomorrow someone will be giving you a car!" And do you know what? The next day... Voila - we were given a car.
And just last week, I had a wobble (you know the type of thing) "Are we really doing the right thing? Where will we live? Ok God if it is really, really, really right then please give us an encouragement to do with housing." And the next morning (the next flippin morning!!!) there was an email waiting for us saying that someone had just given a whopping sum of money to buy a house for us to live in... That was quite encouraging I suppose!
So, we feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the right step for us. Don't get me wrong, most of our days are not like this! But we can see over the years that when God has wanted us to do something specific he usually makes it very clear. We think it's probably because we are actually quite thick and would miss things if they weren't made extremely obvious!
Are we scared? Yes
Do we feel equipped and ready to do this? No, but what's new?
Can we see a pattern of God always getting us to do things that stretch us and humble us? YES
Are we confident that God is able to do immesurably more than we can ask or imagine? Oh yes.
So, that is a condensed version of what happened! I want to tell you aout Tunisia though and some of the experiences we have had here. Some brilliant, some whacky supernatural, some horrifically terrible, some just stupid really! But that's for next time...
Miracles - or just a bizarre set of random coincidences???
So what of miracles? Do you believe in them? Does God really do this amazing stuff or is it just wishful thinking?
Well, If I look back over the past 15 years I can only think that God really, really, really does speak, move, and get involved in our lives (in ways which only He can.)
I remember being 15 years old and sitting in a doctors surgery. I had been sleeping rough on the streets - a 'heavy' goth, drug using, depressed teenager who dressed all in black and not looking friendly, had no one wanting to come and sit next to her! A lady kept looking at me from across the surgery and eventually came and sat next to me, and asked; "Is your name Emma? I think I know your parents!"
Is that a miracle? Not really - until it becomes clear that she has never actually seen me before in her life, and the moments leading up to her coming and sitting with me had involved a very heated exchange with God! ("You want me to go and sit next to THAT?! No way, uh uh!").
However as a long-term follower of Jesus she eventually did what she was told. She offered me a fag and just started chatting normally. I wonder if she would have done that if God had told her what would come next? Well, approximately 2 weeks (or 2 months? It was a LONG time ago!) after that meeting it was arranged that I would move in with the lady and her family... My parents are the most lovely, amazing people but realised that I was beyond control and needed help. The lady and her family lived out on a farm in deepest darkest Sussex... Ahhhhh!
It was a "bit of a change" from my previous life, but these amazing people just lived their normal lives in front of me (a mum, a dad, 4 kids, 2 extra foster kids and me - oh and about 300 cats). They never preached or pressurised, just smoked a lot, and made endless cups of tea - I remember the plug hole always choc - a - block with tea bags!
Anyway, I had been there some time and one afternoon the lady asked me if would like to go to a Christian concert at Ashburnham Place, because a well - known blind lady was singing. I was not totally thrilled with this idea but as they had been so kind to me, I didn't want to offend so went along. Just before we left one of the daughters handed me a big, red "Winnie the pooh" jumper and said she wanted me to have it. I handed it back saying, "No thanks, I only wear black".
So we and I went to the concert and as the singing started... I quickly realised I was right and it was pretty awful. However about 15 minutes (or was it hours?!) later the blind lady suddenly stopped playing the piano and singing, and went very quiet. I will never forget her next words "There is a girl here who is always dressed in black. God wants her to know that he loves her and he's forgiven her and she is to wear the red jumper". She then just carried on playing and singing. Where as I was completely, totally, utterly gobsmaked (and terrified to be honest).
Apparently this lady does that - she has the gift of prophecy, and what she lacks in physical sight she certainly makes up for in spiritual sight. I couldn't doubt that God was real, and right there in that room - because I had heard and seen first hand that He knew me and knew really tiny details and He wanted me to be SURE that I knew!
So what of miracles? Do you believe in them? Does God really do this amazing stuff or is it just wishful thinking? I know where I stand!
Well, If I look back over the past 15 years I can only think that God really, really, really does speak, move, and get involved in our lives (in ways which only He can.)
I remember being 15 years old and sitting in a doctors surgery. I had been sleeping rough on the streets - a 'heavy' goth, drug using, depressed teenager who dressed all in black and not looking friendly, had no one wanting to come and sit next to her! A lady kept looking at me from across the surgery and eventually came and sat next to me, and asked; "Is your name Emma? I think I know your parents!"
Is that a miracle? Not really - until it becomes clear that she has never actually seen me before in her life, and the moments leading up to her coming and sitting with me had involved a very heated exchange with God! ("You want me to go and sit next to THAT?! No way, uh uh!").
However as a long-term follower of Jesus she eventually did what she was told. She offered me a fag and just started chatting normally. I wonder if she would have done that if God had told her what would come next? Well, approximately 2 weeks (or 2 months? It was a LONG time ago!) after that meeting it was arranged that I would move in with the lady and her family... My parents are the most lovely, amazing people but realised that I was beyond control and needed help. The lady and her family lived out on a farm in deepest darkest Sussex... Ahhhhh!
It was a "bit of a change" from my previous life, but these amazing people just lived their normal lives in front of me (a mum, a dad, 4 kids, 2 extra foster kids and me - oh and about 300 cats). They never preached or pressurised, just smoked a lot, and made endless cups of tea - I remember the plug hole always choc - a - block with tea bags!
Anyway, I had been there some time and one afternoon the lady asked me if would like to go to a Christian concert at Ashburnham Place, because a well - known blind lady was singing. I was not totally thrilled with this idea but as they had been so kind to me, I didn't want to offend so went along. Just before we left one of the daughters handed me a big, red "Winnie the pooh" jumper and said she wanted me to have it. I handed it back saying, "No thanks, I only wear black".
So we and I went to the concert and as the singing started... I quickly realised I was right and it was pretty awful. However about 15 minutes (or was it hours?!) later the blind lady suddenly stopped playing the piano and singing, and went very quiet. I will never forget her next words "There is a girl here who is always dressed in black. God wants her to know that he loves her and he's forgiven her and she is to wear the red jumper". She then just carried on playing and singing. Where as I was completely, totally, utterly gobsmaked (and terrified to be honest).
Apparently this lady does that - she has the gift of prophecy, and what she lacks in physical sight she certainly makes up for in spiritual sight. I couldn't doubt that God was real, and right there in that room - because I had heard and seen first hand that He knew me and knew really tiny details and He wanted me to be SURE that I knew!
So what of miracles? Do you believe in them? Does God really do this amazing stuff or is it just wishful thinking? I know where I stand!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Today, Glyn and I joined with the leadership of "OTCC" - Old Town Community Church for a day of prayer and fasting. They did their bit in Eastbourne, East Sussex, we did our bit in Tunisia, North Africa.
We decided to go for a prayer walk round "Enahli Park" (a really beautiful national park with rolling hills, rocky crags and the odd camel, horse and tortoise walking around). We started off by following the winding path through the pine forest, then continued up and up and up.
It was about 30+ degrees and we were soon sweltering. We saw the usual tortoise and amazing birds and butterflies - and then realised we were actually lost. It would have been alright if we had turned around and retraced our steps... But being us, we decided to just try and go straight down to rejoin the main path (about 1/2 mile beneath us). Easy right?
Before long we found ourselves sliding down steep, shingled areas, clinging on to tiny dried tufts of grass that cut your hands or pine twigs that disintegrated! Then moments later we would develop a a sort of out - of - control, lolloping run with arms flailing like wind mills ending abruptly by crashing into small trees and startled wildlife.... Then slithering on our backsides getting thistles in tender places, and all this whilst trying to keep an eye out for snakes, scorpions and the vast assortment of wiggling and hissing creepy crawlies.
Eventually we crashed ungracefully onto the path with extremely dusty backsides and very disheveled hair. Glyn looked like a sort of cave man with a camera. We righted ourselves and tried to all intense and purposes to make it look like we had in fact meant to land like that. Much to the astonished gawps of our fellow hill walkers who were sensibly on the right path.
After catching our breath and allowing the adrenalin to settle we decided there was a metaphore (or at the very least a sermon illustration!) in this experience. It could be:
A. Don't take the wrong path - always keep to the obvious path.
B. You will face many obstacles and places where you want to turn back - but keep going.
C. Don't be afraid to come off the well used path and step out (or in our case down ) in faith.
D. Make sure your mobile phone has credit so you can make that emergency call!
E. Always carry a map.
F. ...Or at least a bottle of water (this is after all Africa and what sort of idiot goes out hill walking in 30+ degrees without some form of liquid...)
Regardless of what we learned, the fact was it took a lot of communication and trust (for me to have confidence that Glyn was well able to help me down and wouldn't accidentally let me go rollypollying into oblivion) and for Glyn to trust me (that I wouldn't accidentally swing our new and expensive camera into a boulder as happened last time ...Ahem!).
So the grand outcome of our day of prayer and fasting? I think God was laughing!
Why are we praying and fasting? well as mentioned in the last blog we are outta here in 9 weeks and preparing ourselves to take a new role as part of the leadership team of the church in Eastbourne. After 5 years here it will be a BIG change and we feel a real need to throw ourselves on to God and get strength and guidance from Him.
And as it happens we will need to make sure we are listening to Him and following His path, persevering when we want to give up and can't see the way forward, stepping out in faith and not fear the challenges and new territory, not be afraid to call for help when we need it, always using our map (bible) for direction, and constantly drinking deep of the living water.
I actually think He was walking with us today.
We decided to go for a prayer walk round "Enahli Park" (a really beautiful national park with rolling hills, rocky crags and the odd camel, horse and tortoise walking around). We started off by following the winding path through the pine forest, then continued up and up and up.
It was about 30+ degrees and we were soon sweltering. We saw the usual tortoise and amazing birds and butterflies - and then realised we were actually lost. It would have been alright if we had turned around and retraced our steps... But being us, we decided to just try and go straight down to rejoin the main path (about 1/2 mile beneath us). Easy right?
Before long we found ourselves sliding down steep, shingled areas, clinging on to tiny dried tufts of grass that cut your hands or pine twigs that disintegrated! Then moments later we would develop a a sort of out - of - control, lolloping run with arms flailing like wind mills ending abruptly by crashing into small trees and startled wildlife.... Then slithering on our backsides getting thistles in tender places, and all this whilst trying to keep an eye out for snakes, scorpions and the vast assortment of wiggling and hissing creepy crawlies.
Eventually we crashed ungracefully onto the path with extremely dusty backsides and very disheveled hair. Glyn looked like a sort of cave man with a camera. We righted ourselves and tried to all intense and purposes to make it look like we had in fact meant to land like that. Much to the astonished gawps of our fellow hill walkers who were sensibly on the right path.
After catching our breath and allowing the adrenalin to settle we decided there was a metaphore (or at the very least a sermon illustration!) in this experience. It could be:
A. Don't take the wrong path - always keep to the obvious path.
B. You will face many obstacles and places where you want to turn back - but keep going.
C. Don't be afraid to come off the well used path and step out (or in our case down ) in faith.
D. Make sure your mobile phone has credit so you can make that emergency call!
E. Always carry a map.
F. ...Or at least a bottle of water (this is after all Africa and what sort of idiot goes out hill walking in 30+ degrees without some form of liquid...)
Regardless of what we learned, the fact was it took a lot of communication and trust (for me to have confidence that Glyn was well able to help me down and wouldn't accidentally let me go rollypollying into oblivion) and for Glyn to trust me (that I wouldn't accidentally swing our new and expensive camera into a boulder as happened last time ...Ahem!).
So the grand outcome of our day of prayer and fasting? I think God was laughing!
Why are we praying and fasting? well as mentioned in the last blog we are outta here in 9 weeks and preparing ourselves to take a new role as part of the leadership team of the church in Eastbourne. After 5 years here it will be a BIG change and we feel a real need to throw ourselves on to God and get strength and guidance from Him.
And as it happens we will need to make sure we are listening to Him and following His path, persevering when we want to give up and can't see the way forward, stepping out in faith and not fear the challenges and new territory, not be afraid to call for help when we need it, always using our map (bible) for direction, and constantly drinking deep of the living water.
I actually think He was walking with us today.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
